May 24, 2011

Today is a Tuesday.

Today I found out that my LH hormone levels are much higher than my FSH hormone levels. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, and it can definitely cause problems when trying to conceive—which is something we are trying to do.

I visited the doctor yesterday for my annual female exam—uncomfortable, as expected. Very necessary, though, and kind of exciting as this would be the first female exam in which I would declare, “Yes. We want a baby.” After explaining that my menstrual cycles have been a little random (one month my cycle is 29 days, then 35, then 29, then 35, etc.), the doctor suggested checking my ovulation hormones and thyroid hormone (I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism four years ago, and then the condition disappeared). I didn’t think anything of it other than it would be nice to know that everything is functioning properly.

Well, it’s not. My LH hormone is a lot higher than my FSH hormone—symptom of PCOS (scary) and basically causes me to not ovulate regularly or ovulate at all.

You know what?! I feel bad for myself. This totally stinks. I have ALWAYS wanted a baby. I have never been the kind to dislike children, cringe at the thought of having my own. I have wanted a baby for a few years now, but I wanted one with my husband—not boyfriend or fiancé. I mean, this isn’t a new, emerging desire. My family is probably the most fertile group of people I know, and I DON’T ovulate?

I’m concerned that I might have PCOS, and I’m seriously discouraged that I’m not a normal woman and can’t conceive on my own (well … and with my husband, of course).

And so it begins, those gut feelings I’ve carried deep down inside for a little while now—I do have fertility (or infertility) issues.

There are treatments and solutions—Thank you, Jesus—but this is just surreal, actually. I want a baby, but I want to be healthy, too!

Time to start countin’ those blessings. I will have a baby.

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One thought on “May 24, 2011

  1. Pingback: The Idiosyncrasies of a Sister Mary Elephant | Belle Haven Drive

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