May 24, 2012

Want to know something ridiculously depressing? Today marks one year—one official year of “infertility.” A year ago today, I found out about my failure as an ideal ovulator. Crap.

Life is crap.

Well, it is interesting that it has been a year and this is where we’re at. Only five of those months were spent doing something semi-productive (even though Clomid and all its glory wasn’t going to fix the problem all by itself). We have spent seven months doing NOTHING. You know, that makes me a little antsy. That pisses me off a bit. I’m tired of WAITING. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of waiting for my dreams to come true. Gaahhh, it’s frustrating. Funny how life is. Sometimes crap just doesn’t go as planned. Take my sister-in-law’s situation, for example: My brother was supposed to have returned from his first deployment by today. Well, shit, the plane is broken. THE PLANE IS BROKEN, AND EVERYONE IS ANTICIPATING THE ARRIVAL OF MY BROTHER. My sister-in-law has [probably] been counting down the months, weeks, days, hours until his return, and the plane … THE PLANE! In fact, I’m flying to Colorado this evening to spend time with my family during this special weekend that would have been the celebration of my brother’s return. Such is life?

You know what else is fucking hilarious?! A year ago today I was probably wondering “what life will be like a year from now.” Well, turns out, NOT PREGNANT.

Depending on people who are far from dependable is not ideal. This is taking too long. My patience is spent. I can’t believe it’s been a year, and not only aren’t we pregnant, but we are currently … just … waiting. 

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