October 18, 2012

Well, my husband passed the Bar Exam! We found out a day earlier than expected. It was quite a moment seeing his name on the pass list.

So, now he is an attorney! This is what it all comes down to. It’s weird: At the beginning of this law school “thing,” you think that it will all lead to this glamorous conclusion. And it has led to that—but not “all of a sudden.” God guided our steps; He got us where we are now. And, honestly, it’s nice to know that I’m part of that. Obviously my husband’s credentials far surpass mine. I know that, and I’m fine with that because I’m not career-oriented; I’m family-oriented and want to make a lot of money to enjoy my life and family. I’m a hard worker and don’t want to waste anyone’s (my boss’) time. So, I am a decent asset to the working world, but my goal isn’t to be at the top. If I get to the top? Great! Do I want to grow? Absolutely! But—what’s really fulfilling to me is that I’m contributing to my family. Like it or not, my husband’s sole efforts can only go so far; I bring a lot to the table. It is just neat that God and my husband haven’t left me in the dust, haven’t left me riding on the coat tails of my lawyer husband. I have a purpose; in the months to come, I’ll have an even more incredible purpose to go along with my purpose right now.

Speaking of which, we are not going home for Christmas this year. I’m quite sad about it, but it just isn’t the best idea for this year. We need to save money for medication and accrue time to take off work for—what I’m sure will be—many doctor appointments.

I think I will start birth control in December and IVF in January. That’s still too far away for my liking, but that’s the way it’s worked out so far—although, I might hear something different from my doctor during our follow-up appointment. I hope so, but then I’ll have to convince my husband. :/

At least it’s actually going to happen, though.

Do you ever feel like once you’ve gotten something, you just want more? Like now I can actually do IVF, and—at the very most—it’s only three months away. But now that I can finally do it, I want to do it—like—now.

I might be the most ungrateful woman who ever lived.

Oh, and my tubes are open. Now that it doesn’t matter. I have swelling at the end of them. What the … ? I don’t know what that means. It’s not life-threatening, so I don’t really care. What’s important is that allllllll my testing is done, and we should get a referral from our insurance.

I humor myself in the idea that I’ve gotten to the point where I almost ask doctors, dentists, eye doctors, “Is it life-threatening? No? Okay. Then I don’t give a damn.” (Unless, of course, it interferes with having a baby.)

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