October 19, 2012

This is seriously the most uncoordinated, inefficient, excruciatingly heartbreaking journey I think I’ve been on.

Once there’s a small light at the end of the tunnel, something new pop ups.

Once there’s actually hope for a baby and a tentative plan, all comes crashing down.

I cannot express the lack of trust I have in people. I cannot express how many people have just let me down during this process.

One thing I’ve learned about infertility: Sometimes the coordination and the logistics and the planning and the testing and so on and so forth—sometimes that is worse than the actual reality of being infertile.

My tubes are f***** up. This would have been nice to know and to fix about … nine months ago. The doctor hasn’t sent all my medical records to my fertility doctor. This is absolutely inefficient.

I wonder how much fallopian tube repair will cost, and I wonder how long this will take.

I am so beyond the point of absolute rage. For goodness sake, most people can just make a baby in one ten-minute session. This is absolutely ridiculous.

WE ARE GETTING NOWHERE.

LUCKY IF I EVER TRUST ANOTHER SOUL EVER AGAIN.

I’M REALLY PISSED OFF.

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