December 27, 2012

Slowly feeling better (physically) about not working out.

I’m ridiculous sometimes. The truth is that I’m not working out as hard. “Your work outs still count, Allison. You can stop being a martyr now.”

I need to back off on cut out the running. It puts stress on my body, it’s high intensity, it’s amazing. Sigh. I don’t mind not running for a baby—BUT THERE’S NO BABY. I know, I know; I need to prep for a baby.

Gah, how ungrateful am I? I mean, our first IVF cycle has begun. It’s stalling a bit, but it has started. Haven’t I been waiting for this for—oh, I don’t know—a couple of years? I should be thankful that I can’t run because it’s time for baby. Can I be honest? Running keeps me regular—very regular. It’s as if my digestion is addicted to running, needs a little encouragement.

Anyway, now I get to sleep in a little longer. Whatever; it’s insane I’m actually trying to make myself feel better about not exercising by BLOGGING!

See, most people are advised to work out in order to reduce their stress level. My work outs are intense, though. Now my goal is to work out in order to reduce stress. And I will control what I eat even more now because a. I need to eat healthy for my baby and 2. I don’t want to get fat—UNLESS THERE’S A BABY IN MY BELLY.

I don’t deserve to be infertile AND fat. Come on, now.

Aaand—my birth control pills aren’t working. THE F****** BIRTH CONTROL PILLS…?

Isn’t this—like—the easiest phase of IVF?

The B.C. is supposed to calm my ovaries down. They don’t want to be calmed down. Hmm … This reminds ME of someone else I know. Ha! My estrogen levels are too high to begin injections, and I have a lovely cyst on my left ovary.

So, my start-of-injections date has been pushed back by eight days so far.

Whatever. C’est la vie.

Tomorrow’s my anniversary!

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