January 18, 2013

Today is a solid, good day.

There are (or have been) very few victorious days in the realm of my fertility. This will change, yes, but there have been many o’ bad days when it comes to our baby factory.

My cyst is gone, my uterus is beautiful, my estrogen levels are low, there are 12 visible follicles, I start my stim meds tonight. Today—is a victory!

At the beginning of this whole process (whenever the beginning was) I never, ever thought that the first phase—the suppression phase—would be tricky. I’ve been on a few walks with my puppy recently and have gotten lost in my thoughts. What else is new? I’ve come to the conclusion that just having the eggs outside my body and fertilized is a HUGE step in this process. For a few moments, there, I was worried my body wouldn’t cooperate. I mean this whole “thing” is because my body won’t cooperate, but when it comes to IVF I just assumed my body would respond accordingly to medications. It doesn’t always cooperate, though. My prayers now are for a steady, safe, healthy growth of all the possible follicles that are sitting in my ovaries. Once these eggs are out, humans can take over and … “manipulate” … the situation.

So, in about two weeks I’ll have a little embryo inside my uterus. Crazy! Then the prayers will really be lifted up. Oh, the two-week wait. Could anything be more torturous?

Funny moment: Ordinarily, I have had some spotting here and there since my last period. I’d spot a little after the ultrasounds (three of them); I spotted a lot of yucky blood the night after Ovidrel—die cyst, die! I was under the impression that all these medications would allow me to skip a period. I mean, I was on, like, day 46. Well, on Tuesday I started spotting. Random. I wasn’t worried per se. I mean—whatever—who knows anymore, right? Well, I emailed my nurse just to inform her I was bleeding a little. She told me not to worry about it and reminded me when I was due for my next appointment. I told her that’s great there’s nothing wrong, I have my appointment scheduled, etc. I asked her, out of curiosity, if she knew why I was bleeding. Haha! She responds, “It just means you’re getting your period.” WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

Sometimes, I just act a fool.

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