Stupid

I’m sorry, but this is the most ridiculous product I’ve ever heard of:

  • Clearblue Advanced Pregnancy Test

Obviously, those peppy pregnancy test commercials ping at my heart every. single. time.

Either the lucky b**** is pregnant, or the relieved—MOST LIKELY MOST FERTILE WOMAN IN THE WORLD—woman isn’t pregnant … and is happy about it—because she’s just not ready to start her family yet WITH THAT BIG SMIRK ON HER FACE.

Okay, but this new Clearblue test’s commercial reeeeeally bothers me. Have you ladies seen it?

It claims it can tell you how far along you are in weeks. Sounds neat, right?

Then the commercial actresses’ correspondence goes like this:

Lucky Pregnant B****: “I’m pregnant!”

Friend: “Really?!”

Lucky Pregnant B****: “Two weeks.” (Holds up two fingers.)

Does being two weeks pregnant even exist? So, I was two weeks pregnant the day of my egg retrieval, right? Can The Chosen Fertile Ones even know they’re pregnant at two weeks, i.e. THE DAY YOU OVULATE?! I’m pretty sure only IUI and IVFrs are over informed enough of their reproduction to know when they’re two weeks pregnant, i.e. not even pregnant yet but triggering/inseminating/retrieving, etc.

I thought that four weeks after the first day of your last menstrual cycle was four weeks pregnant. Am I missing something, or is this commercial and new product just—pardon me—f****** stupid?

P.S. Today is my Princess Sarabi’s 1st Birthday!!!

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8 thoughts on “Stupid

  1. OMG- I totally agree with you!! These commercials have been driving me nuts! And you are absolutely right! There’s like no such thing as ‘2 weeks pregnant.’ I mean, there IS…but it’s referred to as ‘6 weeks.’ Because yes- 2 weeks would be basically the time you OVULATE. So you’re not pregnant then. You’re ovulating. Get an OPK. If you’re ridiculously lucky, MAYBE a few days later you’ll be pregnant, but I guarantee you a HPT can’t detect it that early. So they need to fix their labeling/terminology and quick, before the IF crowd goes nuts on them. Ha.

  2. Hahaha, two weeks pregnant would be hilarious to know. Do you pee after intercourse? How does this work? Maybe they aren’t measuring from last period?!?!? Either way, it’s obnoxious!

    Happy Birthday Sarabi!

  3. Happy birthday Sarabi!! And I haven’t see ln this commercial yet… Thank goodness, because I’m sure it would drive me INSANE!

  4. Yep, I saw it too and it irked me too. No such thing as 2 friggin weeks pregnant you idiots! I wonder how many calls they’ve gotten on that one. Whoever approved that message should be fired. Ridonculous.

  5. I just looked this up b/c I am floored at how stupid a national brand can be. And while I still think its ridiculous & absolutely impossible considering HCG numbers vary so much based on many factors, it does stated that it measures how many weeks since conception. So 2 weeks means since conception not 2 weeks pregnant. However, come on now. Lets leave the guessing up to the doctors we spend PLENTY of money on!

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