Do you want to know about my follow-up?

I map a timeline out in my head, then I talk to my doctor … and he has a completely different timeline in mind. It’s usually sooner than what I was thinking. I don’t know why I try to map things out; everything always changes!

My next stim cycle is probably going to be in November.

Timeline in my head:

  1. Month #1 of Lupron: September 12 to October 12
  2. Month #2 of Lupron: October 12 to November 12
  3. Something to bridge the gap between November 12 and December
  4. Birth control in December
  5. Stim cycle starts late December or early January

RE’s timeline:

  1. Month #1 of Lupron: September 12 to October 12
  2. Month #2 of Lupron: October 12 to November 12
  3. No birth control; luteal-phase Lupron protocol = stim cycle starts November 12-ish

The other option is to do four months of Lupron (because I won’t stim in December and ruin my Christmas trip home) and jump into stimming in January. My doctor was kind of hesitant to put me on Lupron for four months, though he assured me it’d be okay if I felt most comfortable waiting until January.

I’m okay with stimming in November. I didn’t think stimming in November was an option (as noted in my assumed timeline). I was mentally prepared to wait until the beginning of next year, but the sooner the better I suppose.

I don’t want to ruin the holidays, but I don’t know if a BFN #5 is capable of ruining the holidays. Everything, including the 2WW, will be over before my trip home for Christmas (December 20). The retrieval or transfer date might interfere with my Thanksgiving road trip to the Outer Banks. But it will only be one or the other because my trip to the beach is less than five days. I don’t know the details of the luteal-phase Lupron protocol (my nurse will have a draft ready next week during my Lupron shot appointment), but I think everything might be done by the time Thanksgiving arrives.

I just don’t want to get a BFN on Christmas day or something. But—again—that trip is in the clear. And—a BFN will suck whether it’s in December (a week before Christmas) or February, but I’m prepared for it. I am giving this another try because my husband and doctor aren’t ready to give up yet … so I’m not ready to give up yet. I’m not going to lie; my expectations are kind of low. At this point, there’s a chance we’ll get that golden egg just as much as there’s a chance we won’t … again. I never thought infertility would happen to me; I never thought IVF would happen to me. I DEFINETELY never thought I’d be fighting to have a baby via IVF—one baby. That’s what I’m fighting for at this point—just one baby. All my hopes and dreams of transferring one embryo and freezing five for later are down the drain. Now, I’m putting everything I can into a couple of eggs—one of which to create my only baby. I don’t know; I just didn’t think it’d ever come to this.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m thinking ahead too. I kind of feel like I need to check Attempt #5 out of six off my list since I’m enrolled in the Shared Risk program (six cycles—fresh or frozen—for a fixed fee).

I don’t want to have a bad attitude about it, but it is what it is. I’m just going to be realistic about it. 71 eggs and no baby, no pregnancy past 4 weeks and 3 days. I just have to guard my heart.

My doctor is going to try and get some growth hormone for my next cycle. Everything else will basically be normal: Gonal-f, Menopur. He wants me to take the Prednisolone again, too. I’m not sure about the Metformin. I told him about Lexapro and asked if he wants me to discontinue it on transfer day or BFP day. He told me to wait for a BFP—which was the answer I wanted. 🙂

I asked if there’s additional testing I need to do. He said we’ve pretty much covered everything. He’s confident I’m able to carry a pregnancy. Often times his certainty regarding a problem being the eggs versus uterus is 85% to 15%. With me, he’s 95% certain it’s my eggs and nothing else.

So … I guess we’ll squeeze in another round before 2013 closes out.

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11 thoughts on “Do you want to know about my follow-up?

  1. This whole infertility is exhausting. It takes so much to keep up physically let alone mentally. Praying for you. Hope your sticky BFP is right around the corner.

  2. While I’m kind of bummed, we won’t be cycle sisters after Christmas, I’m excited for another chance! Interested to hear about the new protocol with lupron in the luteal phase! November 12 will be here soon!!!

  3. So glad to hear you’ll have another shot this year! Wishing you all the best as you embark on the next couple months. Lord, please let this work!!

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