Can I just say that you women are my saving grace?
Gosh, I’m so blessed to have found you all. Yesterday I was pretty doom and gloom (though I didn’t shed a tear), ready to throw the towel in emotionally on this cycle. You all truly inspire me with your words of encouragement.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
My doctor called just a few minutes ago. Today he is looking for the embryos to be between two and six cells.
We have two 6-cell, one 5-cell, and one 4-cell embryos. He said there’s no fragmentation (yet). So basically they’re all on track, but two are winning the race. All of my past cycles have shown fragmentation at this point; all expect my last cycle. My previous cycle, though, just showed a decreased growth between day 3 and day 5. You can’t have it all, huh?
He wants to transfer three again, so we are doing a day 3 transfer. I know there’s a “pretend” belief that day 5 transfers are better. I kind of believe that too. If we were only transferring one or two, day 5 would probably be a better idea. But our options are limited, and we’re transferring three anyway.
I told him I was expecting crappy news but that I’m actually a little bit encouraged. The man has no emotional inflection in his voice, so I asked him over and over again if this was kind of good. He said he knows it’s an uphill battle; he’s an internal optimist; but he’s happy with the report. That means a lot coming from Dr. Levens. One thing I know for sure: He will never, ever bull shit me.
I’m a little disappointed that I won’t know their blastocyst status because they’ll be inside me. I just won’t know … so that sucks. I asked if my uterus will help their growth from day 3 to day 5 (unlike last time when their growth slowed down). He said it won’t necessarily help if they are already doomed to slow down, but since there’s so little to choose from, he’d rather have them in their natural environment than risk something going wrong in the lab.
Alright, that’s it for today. xoxo …