The Saga

I’m going to share the story of my second chemical pregnancy.

• I started feeling symptoms after my woe is me post last Tuesday.

• My period always starts before beta day because my clinic literally makes us wait two full weeks, so I start to examine everything there is to examine about one’s trips to the ladies room during the second week of the wait.

• There was a tiny bit of blood on my Endometrin applicator on Friday afternoon. Secretly I wasn’t too worried about it but still jumped at the opportunity to know it’s another BFN and be done with it. My husband and I texted back and forth and decided I should POAS.

• As shaky as ever I POASed after work and told myself I’m going to have a family someday no matter the outcome. I looked and saw one line … but then there was an extremely faint second line. My husband and I weren’t too excited yet because we knew we could very well lose this pregnancy. The only good thing about a BFN is that it’s over and done.

• I went to bed that night and prayed for my embryo to keep growing. The next morning I POASed again, and the second line was darker.

• Before our date last night, I went to the ladies room. When I wiped, there was some light pink blood. That was my first, “It’s over,” moment. But I peed every chance I got during our date to examine further. There was little blood, until I went for the hundredth time and saw some blood on my pad. Going to bed last night, I didn’t really know what to think. I shed a few tears in my husband’s arms and that was it.

• This morning I POASed again, and the line was pretty much identical to yesterday morning’s. I was surprised; I thought it’d be lighter. I had a headache all day (still do). There was some random spotting but, honestly, nothing too alarming. I took my Endometrin in the afternoon, and there was a lot more blood when I wiped after the ladies room. I had my second moment, took a “nap,” and Googled the shit out of “Bleeding at four weeks pregnant after IVF.” That made me feel a lot better until the bleeding got worse throughout the day. It started to flow a bit in the toilet, a bit more flowed on my pad, wiping revealed a stain equivalent to a period, etc. My “symptoms” have subsided (except for this headache). It’s over. I will POAS again tomorrow morning, but it’s done. I’ll drag my ass to the clinic for another beta test while I’m on my period just to hear confirmation around 1 p.m. tomorrow.

I’m frustrated and just don’t know when this is going to end. I want it to end as soon as possible.

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11 thoughts on “The Saga

  1. Sorry to hear things don’t seem as strong as you’d like. When is your beta? They won’t do it early even with a +HPT? Kinda important because spotting could mean you are pregnant but just need extra progesterone or something…would think they’d want to know your p4 right away. I really hope you are wrong. Lot’s of people have spotting in early pregnancy. ((HUGS)) for the frustration and uncertainties right now. I really really hope it all works out for the best.

    • Emily, my beta was this morning. They would let me do an early test, but I just didn’t tell my nurse after I got my +HPT on Friday afternoon. Honestly, I just wanted to wait it out (maybe unwise of me with regard to what you’re saying). Between you and me (and anyone else who reads this response lol) I’m f****** confused now. I took another test this morning; there was definitely a second line. I’d have to say it was a tiny bit lighter than yesterday though. And, the only spotting or whatever this morning was a little bit of weird brown stuff, but basically the spotting is nonexistent today so far. I was convinced I’d started my period yesterday. Stuff on my pad, stuff when I wipe, a little bit of flaky flow (Endometrin chunks???). Another thing that’s weird is I haven’t had any cramping … at least none that would be associated with losing an implanted embryo. So, I know there will be a positive result today, but I think it’ll be low. So freaking confusing. I don’t regret having tested, though, because I wasn’t/am not convinced it will last …

      • Well, I hope you are dead wrong and this is legit. You bring up another point for possible spotting in that you are using vaginal suppositories…which also tend to irritate the cervix and cause spotting even more in women who use them. FINGERS CROSSED FOR YOU! Glad you will get some answers today & hoping for the very best for you!

      • Emily, I’m bleeding a little bit now but who knows. There’s no cramping still. Yes, I’ve read that the suppositories can really irritate the cervix. That’s one irritable cervix then, lol! Ugh, it’s just frustrating, and I can’t help but conclude that with my history and the timing of this bleeding it’s probably just AF. Thank you for your high hopes … I obviously have none. I’ll know for sure soon enough …

  2. Ughhhh! Girl, this is so unfair! A pregnancy after everything you’ve been through should be a resounding YES and then not another moment of uncertainty! I’m with Emily though… holding out hope! Love you girl! HUGS!!!

  3. I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I had bright red bleeding (with cramps) with both my successful pregnancies with my boys. I had a SCH and I m/c a twin with both. I’ve read so many blogs with bleeding after IVF. I pray you get a nice, strong number.

    • Stacey, that is helpful! Only my number today will tell I guess. I had three embryos transferred and am wondering if losing one of the implanted ones has something to do with it! Ugh, it’s soooo frustrating! And I was expecting an extremely light to nonexistent second line this morning along with blood. Instead I got a little bit of brown stuff and a decent second line (though lighter than yesterday’s if I really assess). Now there’s a little bit of blood but no cramping! I’m just so confused and feel like I’m not lucky enough to be one of those women who bleeds while pregnant … With my egg quality issues, it’s probably just AF.

  4. Ugh, I’m so sorry, friend!! 😦 I hope that your beta sheds some positive light on the situation and then you get some kind of resolution. 😦 I really hate this for you!!!!

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