I’m going to share the story of my second chemical pregnancy.
• I started feeling symptoms after my woe is me post last Tuesday.
• My period always starts before beta day because my clinic literally makes us wait two full weeks, so I start to examine everything there is to examine about one’s trips to the ladies room during the second week of the wait.
• There was a tiny bit of blood on my Endometrin applicator on Friday afternoon. Secretly I wasn’t too worried about it but still jumped at the opportunity to know it’s another BFN and be done with it. My husband and I texted back and forth and decided I should POAS.
• As shaky as ever I POASed after work and told myself I’m going to have a family someday no matter the outcome. I looked and saw one line … but then there was an extremely faint second line. My husband and I weren’t too excited yet because we knew we could very well lose this pregnancy. The only good thing about a BFN is that it’s over and done.
• I went to bed that night and prayed for my embryo to keep growing. The next morning I POASed again, and the second line was darker.
• Before our date last night, I went to the ladies room. When I wiped, there was some light pink blood. That was my first, “It’s over,” moment. But I peed every chance I got during our date to examine further. There was little blood, until I went for the hundredth time and saw some blood on my pad. Going to bed last night, I didn’t really know what to think. I shed a few tears in my husband’s arms and that was it.
• This morning I POASed again, and the line was pretty much identical to yesterday morning’s. I was surprised; I thought it’d be lighter. I had a headache all day (still do). There was some random spotting but, honestly, nothing too alarming. I took my Endometrin in the afternoon, and there was a lot more blood when I wiped after the ladies room. I had my second moment, took a “nap,” and Googled the shit out of “Bleeding at four weeks pregnant after IVF.” That made me feel a lot better until the bleeding got worse throughout the day. It started to flow a bit in the toilet, a bit more flowed on my pad, wiping revealed a stain equivalent to a period, etc. My “symptoms” have subsided (except for this headache). It’s over. I will POAS again tomorrow morning, but it’s done. I’ll drag my ass to the clinic for another beta test while I’m on my period just to hear confirmation around 1 p.m. tomorrow.
I’m frustrated and just don’t know when this is going to end. I want it to end as soon as possible.