What can a woman say about her husband?
He knows everything there is to know about me—even my deepest of darkest secrets. He’s the only person who knows everything. Yet, he still pursues me; still tries to peel back the layers. He’s obsessed with me. I am his jewel, his delicate flower. He loves me passionately. He chooses me.
That “list” I created as a teenager? He’s it.
I went to the University of Northern Colorado (UNC). During my freshman year, I very often saw this handsome guy in the dining hall with his best friend. Though they looked nothing alike, their friendship seemed more like a brotherhood. My friends’ and my nickname for the handsome one was “red head from T.K.” T.K. was the name of the dining hall. The first thing I noticed about Red Head—besides his hotness—was his loyalty. You just don’t see that too often in my generation. People have options; we don’t have to commit to anything or anyone. But Red Head was a loyal friend. It may seem like I came to this conclusion early, but the reason I could identify his loyalty was because I am a loyal person too. I admired it then—still do.
I never had the courage to talk to him. Though he knew who I was in the sense that we both acknowledged each other’s existence, he didn’t have the courage to talk to me either. There were other boys; I’m sure he had his options too.
So that summer I returned home to Colorado Springs (about two hours away from college) with plans to spend time with family and high school friends; train for my sophomore cross-country season; and make a little bit of money working at the childcare center at the gym my family went to. I was involved with another boy at the time; it was a friends with benefits situation. I was really just searching for my husband; this guy wasn’t cuttin’ it.
One afternoon I was working and Red Head walked into the gym! I was shocked! I mean, it’s not that big of a coincidence that I’d run into someone from college in my hometown. But Red Head?! I quickly learned he went to the gym Monday through Friday at the same time; I started placing myself by the window so he’d see me when he walked in. I told my friends about it, and they encouraged me to introduce myself. I didn’t know how that was a possibility because I couldn’t just ditch the babies, and—well—I just didn’t have it in me. I’d kind of given up on guys. So, I just let it be and moved on in life …
On June 9, 2007 (a Saturday), I got into an argument with the boy I was casually seeing. He was kind of an idiot. I also decided to be a drama queen and strike up a controversial text conversation with my ex from high school. In all my bitterness toward the male species, I went to the mall with my friend later that afternoon. We were walking toward an escalator when I saw him—again. It was Red Head. Without missing a beat, I walked right up to him and introduced myself: “Hi, my name is Allison. I see you everywhere and figure we should meet.” It was magical; he was a nice guy. 🙂 We chatted a bit; he asked if I was on the cross-country and track teams at UNC (He stalked me, yay!). I was thrilled to have finally met him! My friends and I analyzed the hell out of this guy. My worst fear was that he was involved with someone else. At this point, though, the ball was in his court.
That Monday he talked to me at the gym while I was working. As those couple of weeks passed, he talked to me every afternoon I worked. He “friended” me on Facebook. I ditched the other guy. We had a cute week-long Facebook conversation which turned into texting, which turned into late-night phone calls. I didn’t work in the afternoons for a whole week, so I didn’t get to see him. He asked me on a date set for Friday, June 29, 2007. The next time I was working in the afternoon was Thursday, June 28, 2007. I was so excited to see him! At this point, we both knew our feelings for each other. It sounds cliché, but I really did feel so different about him than any other guy I’d ever met! He just felt like home. I was falling for him fast.
On June 28, 2007, he gave me a hug before his workout. Afterward, we talked for hours until my shift ended. Hand-in-hand he walked me to my car, and I asked him if he wanted to get in. My goal was to kiss this boy! I told him I wouldn’t do it, though! He kissed me … It was amazing, so delicious … ❤ ❤ ❤ At the time, I wore a Claddagh Ring that symbolized I was single. After he kissed me, he looked down at my finger and said, “I think that’s facing the wrong way.” I told him he should fix it then, and he turned it around and re-placed it on my finger. I know—ridiculously cute.
I went home that evening and asked my daddy if I could go on a date the next day. I told him about Chris and that he planned to pick me up after I was done with work. My mom returned to the room and we brought her up to speed with the discussion. She excitedly asked, “You mean, he’s going to drive here in his car, meet us, and take you on a real date? You’re not just ‘hanging out’?” They were thrilled.
Within the following 2.5 years, there were I love yous and arguments. There were growing pains and break ups. There were Christmases together with our families and summer family vacations.
On Friday, December 18, 2009, we were anticipating an epic snow storm to hit Washington, D.C. My father had already returned to Colorado for Christmas. I lived with my dad in Washington, D.C. after college; he traveled back and forth between Colorado and D.C. Chris was already headed home to Colorado from Virginia Beach. He was a 1L in law school at the time. Though the snow hadn’t hit yet, we knew it was going to be bad, and I wasn’t scheduled to leave until the next morning. I was NOT going to be stuck by myself without my family for CHRISTMAS! I rushed to the airport after work (still not a snowflake in the sky) and let my dad do the talking over the phone. He had some fancy status with United Airlines because he flew a shit ton. I got on a flight out of Washington headed for Chicago. I was stuck on the plane before take-off for about four hours. The snow was starting to fall; we needed to get out of there! I didn’t arrive to Chicago until around 4 a.m. on December 19. My goal was to get on a flight to Denver as soon as possible. I was exhausted and stressed, but I got on a flight and finally arrived in Denver around 9 a.m.
I hadn’t seen Chris for a few weeks because he was taking finals. I couldn’t wait to see him! I’d totally forgotten about our pending engagement; I was just excited to be home with my family and boyfriend. I knew he had a ring, I knew it would happen in the year of 2009. There weren’t many days left.
After our brief embrace at his parents’ house, he went “shopping” with his dad, and I went to lunch with his mom and sister. Chris’ shopping consisted of taking my dad out to Starbucks and asking for my hand in marriage.
Later that afternoon, his mom came up with the brilliant idea of going to the Garden of the Gods. It was totally random; they hadn’t planned this at all. 😉 So, Chris and I were walking through the Garden; his parents were trailing behind (with cameras). We paused for a moment, he said my name, and I turned around. He was on one knee offering me a beautiful princess-cut diamond ring and asked, “Will you marry me?
Our wedding day was December 28, 2010—the 3.5-year anniversary of our relationship. It was the perfect day …
I know my TTC sisters understand how difficult marriage can be while enduring infertility. As Taylor Swift says, “Life makes love look hard.” Chris and I practically lived together during two years of college; we’d figured each other out pretty well. We didn’t really deal with the “typical” newlywed challenges. Instead, our challenge was being a law school couple with not a lot of extra money to pay for infertility treatments. At one point I just didn’t know how the hell we’d ever be able to buy our baby. That’s suffocating.
So, I want to share this song with you. Our dear friends, L and M, shared this song with us and bought us my favorite wedding gift. I know you women will be able to associate with this song. Marriage is such a beautiful thing—to find that person who will stick by you, fight for you, love you through all the hell.
On December 29, 2010, we woke up early for our flight to Las Vegas. That day I noticed some “spotting.” I had a moment of excitement and hope. We hadn’t even talked about having children yet but certainly didn’t intend to prevent anything. That ring was on my finger; our marriage license was signed; I was ready to rock ’n roll! I knew spotting could be a sign of early pregnancy.
Because we were in Vegas—the land of much alcohol—we decided I should proooobably take a pregnancy test. Chris was freaking out a little bit (understandably). I was secretly hoping it’d be positive. To your surprise, I’m sure, it was negative.
The next day, December 30, 2010, CD 1 officially began.
That CD 1.