My Vow

I vow to never engage in correspondence identical or similar to the below:

Ignorant Person (IP): You’re married?!?!

I answered this question like two months ago.

Infertile (IF): Yes, I am!

IP: I didn’t know that …

Yes, you did.

… How long have you been married?

IF: Three years. Here it comes …

IP: Any kids yet?

IF: Nope, not yet.

IP: But three years … Are you planning?

Are you serious?

IF: Oh yea … We’re planning.

IP: Yea, so when?

IF: Well, we’re having trouble.

IP: Oh (shakes head and offers a “That’s nonsense.” gesture). How old are you?

IF: 26.

IP: Oh you’ve got plenty of time.

Clearly, since the age of my eggs don’t matter anyway. I could be 45 for all you know.

IF: Yea, well we’ve been trying since we got married, so …

IP: Repeat – Oh, you’ve got plenty of time.

Lady, it’s been three years.

IF: Yea, it’s clearly a medical issue.

I don’t expect them to know because how could they? But everyone says the same thing. Oh, you’re young. People, that means nothing a lot of the time. Most of my TTC sisters are well within child-bearing years. Actually all of them are. It’s not always an age-related issue. There’s a problem.

I mean, you interrogate me. I get it. Babies and pregnancy and all that stuff are exciting topics. But, if you keep asking question … after question … after question, you’re going to get a load of information one of these days.

Do you REALLY want to know? It is THAT serious?

I just wonder what these people would say, what their faces would look like if I dropped some knowledge on them.



7 thoughts on “My Vow

  1. Oh my gosh this reminds me of the time I went to the nail salon a year ago…. This question/situation INFURIATES me. How do people just not get it? Ugh! Ignorance is the worst :(. XO

  2. Ugh! Hate these comments. People say what makes themselves feel better. Usually what makes themselves feel better makes our hearts frustrated. I’m sorry sweetie. How’s Mary?

  3. I have having conversations like this! They kill me!! I’m 36 & they say i have plenty of time. Um, no, not really…and we’ve been trying 3 years…geez! Or one person said (regarding my age) in a rude way: “Well y’all better hurry up!!!!” I practically growled at her, “We’re working on it!” GAH!

  4. I hate stupid people like this! I was trying to tell a family member that we have been trying and at this point we would be lucky to have one. To be fair I didn’t share all the details, but I was told to relax and it will happen. Ummm… We are going on 6 years now. If I haven’t relaxed yet, I might never.
    Yes, seeing the responses would be interesting if you really educated these type of people!

  5. Yah…these conversations always turn so awkward when I blantantly tell them I can’t have kids. I bet it makes them regret asking in the first place.

  6. At times I think it can be harder for younger infertiles. There seems to be more of a sense of urgency and understanding for us older women. It must be a heavier burden to educate the dumbasses out there who think youth equals fertility.

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