The Thief

He* is a thief.

Just a thief of hope and faith.

Against all facts, against all favorable circumstances, he finds his way in.

Like a monkey on my back or a deep sense of nausea in my gut.

Why does he have to steal even just the hope away? Haven’t we all been through enough already?

I know this time – this sixth time – is different. But it doesn’t feel different.

And I hate that.

I hate that my heart can’t just rest on hope; I hate that the facts aren’t enough. The fact that my new eggs are full of youth and fertility.

Ugh, fear and doubt. They’re ugly.

I hate him. This thief has taken too much from me already.


27 thoughts on “The Thief

  1. Sometimes, it’s ok to nod and say I see you. I see you doubts and fears. And despite you, there still was enough hope in my heart to try again.
    You are a courageous woman. I hope you know that.

  2. He comes to make the free captive! Captive to our thoughts and negative emotions about past experienced. I’ve been having to tell him to shut the hell up lately. Just tell him, get the behind me. Then ask God to help you in your unbelief. Praying for you tonight love.

  3. I don’t know how to comment while simultaneously validating your feelings and telling the thief to hit the road. He needs to get packing soon, he’s been camping in your fragile heart too long!

  4. Keep hoping! I know it is so-o hard to do but I have so much hope for you and THIS cycle!!! Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing some good new from you soon πŸ™‚

    • Augusta – I have a little secret, maybe two. It involves the number 1,309. ☺️ More thoughts and prayers welcome for a healthy rise on Thursday. 😘

      On Tuesday, April 29, 2014, Belle Haven Drive wrote:


  5. Omg!! I’ve been refreshing my blog reader several times a day in hopes of an update… And today I thought id come see if there was ANY update in the comments on your last post!!!! Ahhhh! So excited!! Praying for a great beta number today!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Pingback: Mother’s Day is But a Week Away | Belle Haven Drive

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