The First Goodbye (My babies are fine.)

I want to tell you about my doctor. Tell you how wonderful he is and how difficult it was so say my first goodbye to him yesterday.

Right now I can’t muster up the right words to truly convey what this man has done for me, my dreams, my family.

He was so happy yesterday. So pleased and cheery. Things looked good. My babies looked really good.

He asked what practice I’d chosen for OB care and confirmed that they’re his trusted colleagues; he 100% approves – plus they have free parking. I made the right choice – good. I told him my first appointment wasn’t until June 10 – practically three weeks away. How will I ever survive? He smirked at me and said, “I’ll see you back in about a week and a half.” I think I’m one of his success stories. Geesh, how narcissistic does that sound?! But – in all honesty – I think he fought hard right along side us. He told me he’d always be there, he’s wasn’t going anywhere; and he was always there.

Ahhh, I started sobbing the other night thinking about having to say goodbye. I shed some tears yesterday during our “first” goodbye. But since my nurse confirmed he can see me again at 9.5 weeks, I will have the opportunity for a second goodbye. ๐Ÿ™‚

It’s just hard to let go, you know?

My sweet babies are doing well. Measuring well, heartbeats are solid. Baby A? Oh, he’s doing just fine. ๐Ÿ™‚ Dr. Levens pointed out their brain development, their little arm and leg buds. They had that human shape. ๐Ÿ™‚ And their hearts! Oh their hearts! Is it just me, or is that sweet, adorable flutter the most adorable sight? Emotional, yes. Miraculous, absolutely. But I just think those beating little hearts are soooo cute!

I remain guarded. I have to.ย But with each week, the walls become weaker and weaker. I am starting to believe that this really can happen. That this will happen. It’s becoming more and more real to me. It takes a while, I tell you. But each morning brings another day’s cycle of nausea, exhaustion, and all things pregnancy. Gosh, it’s a beautiful thing.

I hate infertility and everything it has done to me. But this revenge is oh so sweet.

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7 thoughts on “The First Goodbye (My babies are fine.)

  1. So happy to hear babies are doing perfectly. How bittersweet it is to transition to the regular OB. I think being an RE has to be one of the most rewarding (and also frustrating) areas of medicine. Sounds like your guys was there 100% of the way, and I’m so glad you both get to share those moments of victory together!

  2. I can only imagine how hard it was to say ur first goodbye. After everything uve been through I’m glad I let u come back in one more time before ur official OB appt.

  3. It’s for you. I know all the emotions so well. I graduated two weeks ago and I miss the routine. I miss my doctor who gave such intimate care. But as I move along I’m feeling like a regular old pregnant lady with just a hint of infertility. We are winning. Let’s choose to believe God everyday.

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