Yes, there are moments I stop and think, “After everything, can you believe you are pregnant?”
Allison, can you believe you are 12 weeks pregnant?
I remember being four and five weeks pregnant, reading about my TTC sisters’ pregnancies that were further along, yearning for a more stable week of pregnancy. To be just a bit further along as to ensure less and less of a chance of loss.
Well, I’ve arrived. With a miscarriage rate of less than .5%, as spoken to me by my maternal fetal specialist, I think we’re good. Babies A and B are solid – actually beautiful, perfect … just a couple of adjectives about my babies spoken to me after a thorough review of my sonogram images.
They have hearts that are beating – heart beats I can hear! They have brains, spinal cords, fingers, KNUCKLES. They have noses and knees. My babies are growing, flourishing. After everything, this is my season of joy and peace. No scares, no blood, no cramping. It’s been good, guys. Real good.
There is another aspect of my life that has been pure insanity. It’s the part that occupies eight hours of my day Monday through Friday. It’s been a challenge – definitely a season of growth. Good heavens, I would crumble if I were in the midst of an IVF cycle. I remind myself that I am pregnant and try to keep the goodness in my life in the forefront. But – wow – you can’t have it all, huh? As my belly has grown, so have my responsibilities. But – it’s all good. The boss himself asks me practically every day how my stress level is. They get it; they care; they are rejoicing with me as well in that weird, “professional” way.
My husband and I announced this pregnancy to the “world” two weeks ago.
Papa wrangled the beast, and yours truly was the photographer. As you can imagine, I was lying on my tummy with the camera.
Afterward I asked Daddy if the babies were hurt because I was on my tummy, using ab and back muscles, to capture the photos. He assured me (with a smirk), “No, Allison; they are more durable than that.”
And they are. They are perfect. I am blessed.
Just like that … I wake up and am reminded that my dreams are coming true; that the heartache is over and the burden is lifted.