I’m learning to tell my body to relax. I want a good blood pressure reading.
I’m learning to not cry even though I am very emotional, because I want a good blood pressure reading.
I started journaling for me back in May 2011. I still really only journal for me; it’s therapeutic for me.
A bonus is when these women, friends, sisters – YOU – come together for li’l me in a time of need. Thank you so much. Your prayers and thoughts are working. It has been a whirlwind and quite surreal. When you look into your husband’s eyes pleading with him to promise you it will be okay … perspective.
It has been hard, but I am blessed. Pregnancy is not what I thought it’d be, but it’s mine, and I’m the luckiest girl in the world. And I’m not just saying that because I have to after everything I’ve been through to get here. Seriously – I remember the pain; the heartache; the hell. If I was more sick than I thought I’d be through 18 weeks gestation – fine. If I can’t be super runner mommy girl trotting along with my bump – perfect. If the stress of IVF was quickly traded with the stress of a much bigger workload and a lot more responsibility – I will take it. I am pregnant. Here I am with my little baby girls growing inside my womb. I am so lucky, but it has been hard. It has been humbling. This pregnancy has taken a lot out of this li’l lady. I admit that now. I used to bulldoze my way through – one more hour of work; one more chore. “I feel fine; I’m just pregnant. I’ve got to get this off my plate.” Pre-pregnancy, I used to run 30 miles a week. I’d hop out of bed and go. I literally cannot exercise and haven’t been able to because there’s nothing left. I’m glad I didn’t push myself that far. But I missed the happy medium somewhere, and Monday was a wake-up call.
We are indeed stabilizing a case of severe pre-eclampsia. My blood pressures have been really good for over 24 hours – I think longer. The magnesium drip will certainly calm you the heck down, but I’ve been off it for almost a day now, and my blood pressures are doing well. I did have a reading after my ultrasound, a trip to the ladies’ room, a quick brushing of the teeth that read a little high, but I calmed my body down (I swear it’s an accomplishment for me.), and 15 minutes later, it was fine.
As some of you may know, there are several other signs of pre-eclampsia: protein in the urine; troubled liver function; high uric acid; HELLP syndrome. Well … my blood pressures have the ability to reach dangerous levels (though are stable now!), I have protein in my urine, and I have high uric acid. Thankfully, my liver function is doing well, and I don’t have HELLP (praise God). Things aren’t great, but they’re not horrible. These girls have a few more weeks left I pray. 🙂
The babies’ blood/oxygen flow is great. It just needs to stay that way. One doctor (maternal fetal specialist) told me I might be able to go home on Friday with close outpatient monitoring. Another doctor (my OB) said no way; I am here to stay until these girls arrive. So, it’s ever-changing. I just need to be in the best place for these girls wherever that is. I’m probably staying put until their birth. I did move from Labor & Delivery to Mommy/Baby last night, so that’s progressive. And I just learned I’ll be moving to a larger room this evening! Baby daddy is spending a couple of hours checking things off my to-do list. 🙂 My mom is arriving on Sunday. My maternity photo shoot has been moved from a lovely farm in Maryland to the hospital next Friday. 🙂 God bless my photographer.
Thank you for your prayers; they are working. Please continue to pray that my blood pressures remain stable and my blood work remains unchanged. I learned that pre-eclampsia inevitably does get worse, and there’s not much you can do about it as the pregnancy progresses. The magic is stabilizing it until we just can’t anymore, and accepting the fact that everyone is safer with everyone outside the womb than in.
Today I am 26 weeks + 5 days … practically 27 weeks, right? 🙂
Please Heavenly Father … Please, please, please …