She looks like her.
At first, it seemed like they’d be sisters who shared subtle similarities.
At first. Ha! Within the first few moments you laid eyes on Emmanuelle while she was struggling, Allison?
Her face – I see it. I close my eyes and can see her. That face I looked at that morning. She was at peace.
She was wearing that sweet hat.
Rowan wears the same hat now during kangaroo care. She is learning to regulate her body temperature; she is swaddled instead of having the “heat turned up all the way.” So she wears a hat while out of her isolate.
I look at her and see her … and I also see my beautiful Emme. They are sisters. I miss my Emmanuelle. I’m so thankful for my Rowan.
* Maternity leave is a doozy. I’m going back to work on Monday. Fuck, you can’t get a break for having a baby (among other “things”). “They’re” not covering me for my ante partum stay in the hospital … I guess I should have been able to work while suffering from pre-eclampsia.
It’s as if nothing has changed. Me. Husband. Dog. Beer to Numb the Pain.
Save the milk by day; dump it by night. Rowan has way too much stocked up anyway.
I’ve thought about donating my milk, but I don’t think parents would want milk from someone who’s on blood pressure meds and antidepressants.
Yesterday my blood pressure was 147/86 sans labetalol! This is a victory for me.
Now I just need my baby at home. It would be nice to feed her myself. I would love to show Rowan her room that Grandma and Papa prepared.
I would love to have my family. But, no, not me. I don’t get to have that.
* “They’re” is not my employer.