I welcome friends, family, and – really – whomever to read about my thoughts and feelings.
I write because it is therapeutic for me. If you are going to read my blog, prepare yourself for some raw emotion. If my thoughts upset you … then there’s not much I can do about that unfortunately. I do – however – wish you nothing but the best.
I’m just me, and that’s not going to change. The people in my life who love me unconditionally appreciate my willingness to share what’s inside my heart. And, sometimes, what’s inside my heart just isn’t pretty.
The TTC sister who commented on my original post and prompted me to delete it and re-group has re-blogged my entry entitled “Deja Vu”. Thanks …?
She writes that I lack integrity because I deleted her comment. I actually just deleted the entire post, which included the comment.
Sister, I wasn’t aware you wanted my readers to view your comment, but I’m happy to share it with them now:
“This is pathetic. Seriously. I’m sure you hurt some other IF/RPL sisters’ feelings with this post–I think that was your intention, to spread your misery. You had all my empathy, but not anymore–because although you admit that it must have been hard for others to see your pregnancy, you obviously don’t give a sh*t or you wouldn’t have posted this. Some of them were HURT, but how dare you accuse them of being “enraged” and “bitter” toward you. As if. And you HAVE a baby, whereas others have none. Get a grip. Peace out.”
Below is my response:
“Hello there. For what it’s worth, my intention is not to hurt anyone. I am just expressing my feelings; this is my journal. Spreading my misery for others to suffer does nothing for me; I would never wish my heartbreak on anyone. Unfortunately, I have encountered TTC sisters who’ve not reciprocated my well wishes and overall encouragement toward them. I don’t necessarily blame them; I just don’t understand how one can be jealous of someone who has endured what I have. Some of them admit to being bitter, and the rage is obvious. It’s not an accusation; I’m bitter and enraged. Did you notice I called myself a “bitter little bitch”? I believe those feelings are warranted because infertility is a living hell. I DO have a baby – you’re right. You clearly don’t understand the magnitude of loss I’ve experienced to finally have my beloved child. And I wouldn’t expect you to, and that is perfectly okay.”
My mother taught me not to engage in conflict of this nature. My initial reaction would be to ignore the original comment, ignore the fact that my entry has been re-blogged elsewhere, and ignore the additional comments regarding my character.
But, tonight, I’m feeling a little feisty.