I hold her close ‘neath the covers.
I feel her breathe; her body rises and falls.
I hear her breathe. She’s a top notch breather, my friends! A champion.
It’s hard to believe that this delicate girl required assistance ever … at all.
She breathes in and out. So natural. So involuntary.
*I have a confession to make …
It seems I’ve known her for five months, but – yet – she’s a completely different person from the stunning fetus displayed in her magnificent isolette.
I stared at her today and almost told her Daddy, “There she is, that face. That look. Emmanuelle.” The resemblance. I did not want to bring him heartache; I kept it to myself. But I saw her.
I saw you, my darling.
I wish I could have her … because she’s my baby. We created her, our dancing Emmanuelle.
I want to know what she’d look like. I want to know what it’d be like … because that’s how it was supposed to be.
Lord, I miss her.
My Rowan is the light of my life.
Oh, the heart. The matters of the heart.
*Co-sleeping: Something I never thought I’d do.